6 Reasons Why Men Struggle to Commit By Renee Slansky
It’s a common question and frustration amongst women: why can’t men just commit?! Well before you give up , let’s look at 6 typical reasons why men struggle to get serious:
1: they have a fear of missing out
FOMO, you may have heard or seen it about. It seems to be a little more common among men when it comes to relationships. They might find it hard to commit to one woman, not because someone greater might be out there, but because they are worried they will miss out on other things in life. As women, we are experts at being able to see the bigger picture and multitask a few things at once. While some men, struggle to see beyond the commitment of the relationship and view it as a perimeter they must stay behind. Yes, commitment does represent a boundary, but it doesn’t symbolise the end of dreams or fun. The best way to help your man overcome this fear, is to encourage him to pursue his dreams and to lead by example. Make sure you have your own purpose outside of the relationship, but also show him that you are very much present in your partnership. Show him the balance that can be obtained to help put his mind at ease.
2: They have a fear of failure
Men have an enormous amount of pressure to perform above and beyond as a man and provider. Most of the time, a guy will not be ready to commit until he knows that he is achieving what he has set out to do and is in a secure place emotionally and financially. They want to have all their ducks lined up’ so to speak. They want to know that who they are is enough, that they can protect and provide, because failure is just not an option. And if there is doubt in their mind that they could fail at their role as a man, they will not risk it by committing, even if they love the woman they are with.
3: They haven’t dealt with their issues
Like anyone, if you have underling issues, then chances are your relationships will suffer. Whether it’s something that he experienced as a child or an adult, the past is a very powerful thing. Perhaps he didn’t have parents to model a healthy relationship or has been constantly subjected to divorce. The best way to combat this is through patience and professional help.
4: They aren’t ready to settle down
Some men just take longer than others. This isn’t something you can change. But it is something you can avoid. Make sure you address what your expectations are at the beginning of the relationship so that you aren’t disappointed later on. Try to date men that want the same things as you and are open and clear about their intentions. Unfortunately, no matter how good of a woman you are, if he’s just not ready, then it’s time to let him go and move on. Don’t delay your happiness waiting for him to have an epiphany. Better to move on and focus your time and attention on a man that wants the same things as you do.
5: They don’t know what they want
Some guys are just plan lost. They don’t have any direction and can’t see what’s of value in front of them. The problem is, is that as women we think we can save them and should try and guide them. Well yes you should try, but only up to a certain point. The best way to encourage someone to have more direction is to lead by example. Set boundaries, live each day with intent and show them that you are taking control of your life by your daily choices. Men need a sense of purpose before they feel they can commit to a woman, no matter how wonderful she is.
6: Everything is too easy for them
A guy needs a little bit of chase. When we make everything to easy for them, they tend to lose interest. It’s not about playing games, but rather making sure you have certain standards in place that he needs to rise to meet. Don’t be so available, don’t give in so easy, make sure the relationship is 50/50 and have your own life, social circle and purpose outside of your relationship.
Who is The Dating Directory?
Renee Slansky is an dating expert, relationship coach, speaker,author and founder of Australia’s number 1 dating and relationship blog The Dating Directory. Her advice can often be seen on some of the largest publications and sites worldwide such as The Huffington Post, The Good Men Project, Your Tango and Elite Daily. As Channel 7’s go-to dating commentator , Renee is all about real talk about real issues of modern dating.
Her teachings are based off experiences and observations, while her writings offer a witty and relative outlook with practical advice on life and romance in the 21st century.